Treatment:(The sounds add onto each other as they progress.)
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
We see the image of a clock as it clicks away.
Taptaptap.
We see pencil tapping, zoom out to see a bored student sitting at her desk looking at something in the distance
Siiiiiiiigh. (stops, and discontinues)
A frowning mouth, zooms out to a waist shot bored boy who slumps down in his seat
Patpatpatpatpat.
Zoom out more to see the bored boy tapping his heel.
ZzZzZzZzZz
A boy with his head down sleeping, arms stretched out, hands hanging off the edge of his desk
Indiscriminate talking about a lesson
The back of a teacher as he moved back and forth from looking at the class, writing on the board, and reading off her notes
Clickclackclickclackclickclack
A phone zooms out to a girl secretly texting during class. "This class is killing me, I want it to end :["
Scribble scribble
The tip of a writing pen zooms out to a boy drawing the teacher in a funn
When will this class be over...
This is so boring.
ECU's of people turning to their classmates and whispering to each other
When will this class be over...
This is so boring.
ECU's of people turning to their classmates and whispering to each other
Noises blend into silence. Tick. Tick. Tick. Ding. ding. Ding.
You see the class as a whole. Then back to the clock. The five minute bell rings. The teacher looks at the clock, and starts wrapping up her lesson.
Cli-click
Pen stops writing and is put away, along with the other school materials.
Fwip
Phone is flipped down and put on desk as she puts her stuff away
Yaaaaaaaawn
Sleeping boy wakes up and stretches his arms out.
Screech (short)
The boy stops tapping his heel and sit up, putting stuff away, smiling.
Click Tap
Pencil is flipped around, led put away, and is tucked into backpack.
Abundance of zips
Montage of backpacks being zipped up
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Goes from clock, to teacher, to each student in the class with anticipation on their faces, each shown differently.
Come on come on….patpatpat
Impatient boy leans over his desk and backpack tapping his heel again
taptaptap
Pencil tapping girl starts tapping her fingers
Clench
Girl grips her phone in anticipation
What are you going to do after school?
When is formal again?
The 11th
What color are you wearing?
I like your shoes!
I got them on sale!
Can I copy your notes?
Sure...
ECU of mouths of people around the classroom talking.
Hurry Up. Come On. Why is this taking so looong… I want to go home.
Tapping of heel, fingers, and grips, eyes looking at the clock, checking watches all montaged together
Sounds come together and gets softer as ticking gets louder
Shot of clock gets closer and closer in sudden zooms in synch with ticking
Silence. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
Abundance of screeching and footsteps and Yes’s and FINALLY’s come together and mesh into crowd noises.
Worm shots of chairs moving, feet stepping, Smiling faces, grabbing backpacks, and students filing out the door.
Silence. Slow swish and lock.
Students disappear from door frame as the door slowly closes and shuts.
Short silence. Until—tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
On last tick cut to black.
Why This Works:
From the beginning scene and abundance of noises we can tell that these are bored students in class, and they just want to get out, emphasized by the text and dialogue between the classmates. Many of the sounds are foley sounds, and the ticking and some select sounds will be used as sound bridges between transitions. Some characters have a set of noises associated with them (tapping of the heel, tapping of fingers/pen, etc) And that's pretty much all we needed. It's simply just a story of the agony in waiting for class to end. I might even add funny unrealistic scenes like moving from the shot of the teacher lecturing, and cutting back to the class as skeletons. But that's pretty unrealistic to do so I'll just have to think of more things to emphasize the long wait.
Why This Works:
From the beginning scene and abundance of noises we can tell that these are bored students in class, and they just want to get out, emphasized by the text and dialogue between the classmates. Many of the sounds are foley sounds, and the ticking and some select sounds will be used as sound bridges between transitions. Some characters have a set of noises associated with them (tapping of the heel, tapping of fingers/pen, etc) And that's pretty much all we needed. It's simply just a story of the agony in waiting for class to end. I might even add funny unrealistic scenes like moving from the shot of the teacher lecturing, and cutting back to the class as skeletons. But that's pretty unrealistic to do so I'll just have to think of more things to emphasize the long wait.
I think it'd be pretty cool to film a student getting a panic attack because he's so bored... or because he hears all the sounds all at once. Like. Have him have a major freakout and just run out of class, and then class resume like nothing happened.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff~
I really like your idea, how everyone can relate to the topic. I noticed that the story as a whole has dialogue and foley sounds dominate, rather than the action. I would recommend that the dialogues shouldn't be repeating the same idea and that they shouldn't drag on. But, other than that it is a very interesting topic and I'm curious to see how it turns out!
ReplyDeleteLong One...See the Film Questions Given to Us
ReplyDelete1. To show how the tension of the imminent bell ring affects all of the students in the class in different ways
2. The different actions of all of the students while they are bored, but its kind of hard to pin down which ones exactly “move the plot forward.”
3. There seems to only really be one scene, its really one action, fighting against time and boredom.
4. The resolution is the bell ringing
5. The conclusion is the students leaving maybe? It seems like it ends on the climax, which I think is fine for this piece.
6. There isn’t too much “important” dialogue persay; it serves more to set up the scene
7. None?
8. I guess you should make more of a plot with action; there are lots of nice little quirky things that we can all relate to when wanting to get out of a class, but there is no “overarching” action that goes anywhere further. In a way, that can be beauty in simplicity, but maybe too simple in that respect. There still needs to be rising actions, climax, and probably a bit more attachment to the characters. I don’t really care about any of the characters, and I find that a little bit wrong for the purposes of short films. I think that if you focused on one character that wants to say something to someone and the clock is ticking until the last class until graduation, after which (s)he can never meet up with them again. It could even be something trivial for dramatic irony, but that is up to you. You could get more meaningful dialogue that way and there could be lots of cool sound effects in classroom of people standing between those two or so people, or however you would want to take the story, even a v-o narration. I like the idea, for we can all relate somewhat, but just needs to be deeper than just the general scene here, in more depth on the characters.